


This Moment

by Sorin



Category: Final Fantasy XIV
Genre: Fluff, Multi, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-26
Updated: 2019-08-26
Packaged: 2020-09-27 05:30:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,875
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20402464
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sorin/pseuds/Sorin
Summary: Questions left unanswered and things left unsaid often lead to heartache.





	This Moment

**Author's Note:**

> Before I start, I want to sincerely thank everyone who's reached out to me since I last posted here- either in comments, on tumblr, in-game, or even just by giving me a kudo or two. It means a great deal to me, and I can't really find the words to say just how much I appreciate it.
> 
> That being said it has been a very long while since I've written anything for anyone other than myself, so you'll have to forgive me for the training wheels... as time goes on, I presume I'll become more comfortable again, but for now I'm going to keep it short and sweet.
> 
> This story contains MAJOR SPOILERS for the end of Shadowbringers. If you've not played the MSQ through, I really recommend you do so before reading this!

I can see why he comes up here so often. This is, after all, the highest place in the Crystarium save the Tower itself- and he has ever been one to seek the highest vantage point he can find, to settle himself there and watch the world as it drifts by. That has never been my way, at least, not as fervently as it is his… but I know where to find him, and so while everyone else celebrates, I slip away and retrace steps that have become achingly familiar. The quiet of the Rookery is welcome, the breeze that whispers through the trees and caresses my skin even more so. Sometimes, even the Warrior of Light- or Darkness- wants to be alone, or at least left in the peace of those they care most for, and that is _exactly_ what I want on this night. I’ve had little else on my mind but speaking with him away from the eyes and ears of well-meaning friends who, despite being so, are- tonight- unwelcome. Tonight is for him, for me, for the things we’ve left unsaid for all this time… for the years between us, for the _memories._

He sits exactly where I’d expected him to, and though I have come here seeking him, I am suddenly nervous. I clasp my hands to still their trembling, gaze up at the star-filled sky as though it will give me answers or guidance- or both, preferably… but when the only answers I seek are the ones _he_ has, I have no choice but to continue on. I look down at his still form again, watch the wind tousle his hair, and I wonder how much of the young Seeker I’d known is left… if there is, perhaps, anything at all for me anymore. It is perhaps an unfair thought given the extremes he’s gone to for me, but it comes anyway, and so I let it pass by. I pace the length of the wooden trellis and stop a pace or two away, and he turns to look up at me with a smile…

I swear- my heart stops for a second or two.

“I’d hoped you would join me,” he says, his voice rich and warm. “Please- sit.” When I do, his smile widens- ah, how I’d _missed_ that, the way it makes his eyes crinkle at the corners and the mischief inherent, despite him being up to none for the moment. It is this smile I remember best when I think of him, laughter and song swirling together and borne up to the night sky in Mor Dhona as we sat by the fire outside his tent. “You didn’t feel like staying for the revelry?” he asks curiously.

I shake my head slightly. I don’t like being the center of attention and I never have, instead content to watch from the outskirts and remain polite with those who approach despite the distance I keep. He knows this about me, however, and the smile which curves his lips warms and tells me that, perhaps, he’d only asked to see how much _he_ remembers- though I have a feeling the answer is _everything._ Ever and always had I wondered… would he remember me, in that far distant future? Would he look back on the time we spent together as fondly as I did? Having my answer, having it be _yes, most assuredly,_ does a great deal to soothe the ache that had manifested as the heavy doors had swung shut behind him.

“I see that not much has changed.” His expression is fond, and he flicks his ears before looking back up at the night sky. “To be perfectly honest with you, I never expected to be afforded this chance… and though I’ve been over and over what I might say, what I might do, I’ve come to no solid conclusion.” His eyes fall closed, and he seems for all the world as though he’s not a care on his mind- but I know him better than that. When he looks at me again, his ruby eyes are clouded, _worried._ “You must be furious with me,” he murmurs, and his ears slowly droop.

I pause, then shake my head again. Furious? No, nothing like that. At the end of the day, at the end of all of this, I am only relieved that he is here and well. I had feared, the entire time we’d raced to the bottom of the Tempest, that we would be too late… after all, having the last living son of the Allagan empire in his hands must have been _extremely_ tempting for Emet-Selch. I’d made it, _we’d_ made it, and though I still have a lot to think about and wrestle with, it can all wait for the moment.

This moment is for _us._

His smile returns, though it is hesitant and a bit fragile in its sincerity. “I suppose, when one looks at the things I’ve put you through, this must seem par for the course,” he muses. “I had thought, whimsically, to have someone send you out to find a pinch of aethersand- if I’d had any at hand, perhaps I would have… and thus, to tell you the truth. Even as I didn’t want you to know… I _did._” He bows his head, then clasps his hands and gazes down at them. “… though I think you did all along, in the end. You never forgot me, just as I never forgot you.”

Of course I had known, how could I _not?_ His voice is as familiar to me as my own, rarely though I use it- the others hadn’t known him before, of course, but _I_ had. … but, when I think on it, a century is a _very_ long time… far more than long enough for doubt, for _fear_, to creep in. Nights spent alone pacing the city he now calls home, days spent in feverish study, ever reaching for his goal- alone, all this time, despite being surrounded by people. Slowly, carefully, I reach out and lightly place my hand over his, and he looks at me in surprise before looking down and unclasping his own. How gentle he is as he cradles my hand, how _careful,_ as though I am perhaps breakable- though he has seen me _far_ too close to breaking, to splintering into thousands of glittering shards and rising again as a monstrous mockery of who I had been before. Thinking of how _close_ I’d come to that horrific end makes me shiver a little, and it seems instinctive- even as he holds my hand in his right, his left finds a spot on my waist as he wraps his arm around me. We are nearly nose to nose now, and his beautiful eyes widen before falling half shut. Perhaps, I think distantly, I should still be nervous… but how can I be? This is where we’d stopped- how can it not feel like home?

“My biggest regret, when the Tower doors closed behind me and I took myself upward to do as I knew I had to, was that I had never told you how I truly felt.” His brows come together, he looks _so_ upset, and I tuck myself a little closer. “I idolized you from the beginning, and yes, it is you who has inspired me to do as I have, to do _all_ that I have- but what I felt, what I wanted… it was far more personal, and I was too afraid.”

My lips part in surprise, and it is my turn to worry. We had spent so much time together then, as I listened to him read and sing, as he listened to my tales and eagerly asked questions upon questions. We had grown close beneath that endless night sky, not so different from this one, and yet… perhaps something that should have been easy, _natural,_ ended up not being so. I peer at him, wonder what he’s thinking, what he’s thought all along.

He smiles faintly, almost helplessly. “You were so much more than I had been led to believe, even when you could have turned your nose up at me and walked away when I toyed with you in the Twelveswood. You didn’t, you never did, and I…” He takes a breath to steady himself, his words nearly tumbling over one another in their haste. “I told myself that once the expedition was finished and the Tower’s secrets laid bare before us, once I knew the truth of my own history, I would follow you on your journeys to record your deeds, but…” He trails off.

Looking down at our hands, still clasped and resting on his knee, I carefully lace our fingers together. I had always been fascinated by him even as I was occasionally _annoyed_, given his propensity for the dramatic and his childish enthusiasm… but at the same time, those things had begun to charm me, and when I lost them, lost _him-_ I wept. He _has_ followed me, though, going back and catching me ere I could fall… and I return my gaze to his and tell him as much with a gentle smile of my own. His eyes widen in surprise and then fill with tears, and he closes them with a quiet laugh and a shake of his head before looking at me again, and ah, how they _shine_.

“Truly,” he breathes, “you believe that?” When I nod, he tips his head back again to steady his breath- and when he looks back at me, the beauty of his smile puts the night sky to shame. “I spoke true on the cliffs in Kholusia. Those dreams have always been dearest to my heart… as have you.”

I lean closer, nudge my nose against his. We weren’t afforded the chance then, but now? Now, things are so different… the world he’d built and the one I had fought to save, the beat of his heart and the beat of mine- one and the same, in their way, imperfect and yet flawless. I want him to come with me as I travel Norvrandt, I want to see more of this place he calls home… to learn about who he is now, to banish the years between us and look only to the future. I’d wished he could come with me then, too, and with it being what we both want more than anything now… why not? He looks at me with warmth in his gaze, with _joy_, and perhaps it should come as more of a surprise when he kisses me- but it doesn’t, not at all. I have waited _so_ long for this, and he has waited far longer. We linger when the kiss breaks, sharing breath and studying one another, and then he smiles another one of those smiles that makes the corners of his eyes crinkle, and I can’t resist the urge to kiss him on the nose. He laughs, and so do I- and then we lean against one another once more, content to simply sit and watch the stars.

This moment, still in time and quiet in its gentle sincerity, is for us… for the future. _Our _future.


End file.
